Your 11-year-old has always been kind, obedient and respectful; now suddenly she’s giving you oodles of attitude. According to California parenting guru Dr.Michele Borba, the best approach to a prickly preteen is simply to walk away.“ Any time your child uses disrespectful words, tones or gestures, immediately get up and walk calmly out of her presence,” she advises in her latest book, Don’t Give Me That Attitude! (Jossey Bass, 2004, $21.99).
Borba also outlines a six-step plan to deter sassiness over the long term:
- Clearly identify the problem behaviours.
- Announce a moratorium on disrespectful language and behaviour and back it up.
- Don’t react to lippiness; walk away.If you don’t rise to the bait, he’ll give up the behaviour.
- Assign consequences and enforce them.
- Acknowledge respectful behaviour and let her know you appreciate her efforts to improve.
- And maybe your attitude needs a makeover; kids learn disrespect by example.
