Explaining Your Family's Approach to Nudity to Your Toddler
At Rosalind Stefanac-Skugor’s house, nudity isn’t a no-no—at least for the kids. Her two boys, Luka, 6 and Simun, 3, are comfortable running around without their clothes on. But while her husband is relaxed about being naked around the boys, she’s less so about going au naturel.
“I guess I grew up in a pretty conservative family—we were taught to always have something on when you’re walking around the house,” says the Toronto mom. “But my husband, who’s from an Eastern European background, is much less uncomfortable.”
Nudity, en famille, is a hotly debated issue these days. If you’re like many families, those old photo albums filled with naked little angels are a distant memory—a testament to a more carefree era. And for those families who do feel comfortable enough to be in the buff around the house, there are always the none-too-subtle reactions of family and friends, and worries about psychological fallout, along with safety concerns about sexual predators.
The key, say the experts, is to do what feels right for you and the kids, while being mindful of the reactions of others.
keep an open mind
Vancouver sexologist Dr. Pega Ren says if your family has always covered up, then that’s your “normal”—and it’s perfectly fine. But if you like to be nude, that’s okay too. “Being naked in your family is perfectly natural and healthy—if that’s part of your family lexicon. If you’ve always been naked in your family, your children will think it’s odd if you suddenly start dressing when they walk in the room.”
the ground rules
To avoid problem scenarios, like a child stripping down in his kindergarten class, it’s a good idea to develop different rules for different situations—and communicate them to your kids, says Dr. Staci Illsley, a child psychologist in Vancouver. “It’s important to really put limits down about what’s okay and what’s not okay.”
1 Be clear about public and private behaviours. Because being naked carries with it a sense of sexuality, parents should explain which behaviours may be appropriate at times (running naked through a sprinkler) and which aren’t (touching genitals). Dr. Illsley suggests making these key distinctions by saying things like, “This is a private part, this is a private time.”
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