How to Talk About Budgets with Your Kids
Maybe you lost your job. Or maybe your son’s project on fossil fuels simply has you rethinking that second car. Regardless, everyone’s tightening budgets these days—and many of us are wondering how to break that news to our kids.
Experts vary on specifics regarding the money talk, but several lessons consistently surface. The most important? Scaling back needn’t be a big deal. Kids just need you to be happy and love them. (Really!)
check your own attitude
Be consistent and gradual.
Financial discussions can be prickly for parents. Sara Dimerman, psychological associate and author of Am I a Normal Parent? (Hatherleigh Press) believes parents should confer among themselves first. Sort out your differences well before talking to the kids. Dimerman also suggests cutting back gradually. Abrupt changes can frighten children of all ages.
Remember that everyone’s feeling it.
“Isn’t it interesting that parents are even nervous about discussing cutbacks?” observes Alyson Schafer, psychotherapist and author of Honey, I Wrecked The Kids (Wiley). “That’s disrespectful to our children—like we think they can’t handle it.” This recession is universal. Cut yourself some slack.
Spare them your grownup issues.
Even when times are tough, don’t lay adult worries on kids. Bring your grownup stuff to your pastor/therapist/credit counsellor. Be the loving parent, not a needy friend.
seize the teaching moments
This is a blessing.
“There are so many opportunities for growing character, it blows my mind,” says Toronto-based parenting coach Terry Carson of parentcoach.ca. “When we teach, we learn. Here’s an opportunity to learn to manage our finances and teach our children.”
Teach kids about costs.
Help kids to understand when and how your family spends money. Dimerman likes using Monopoly money to demonstrate some everyday costs, such as groceries, eating at a restaurant or snacks at the convenience store. “It’s fun. Kids won’t even know they’re learning math.”
Live the lessons.
“This is a fabulous time to start kids on an allowance,” says Schafer. They learn money management and feel independent. You spend less. Everybody wins. “Start modelling good spending behaviour,” Dimerman says. “Identify the difference between needs and wants.” At the mall, try delaying gratification. Your daughter still wants those jeans next week? Great. She can use her own budgeting skills to buy them with her allowance money when she’s saved enough.
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