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Easy Solution to Typical Sibling Rivalry
May 16th, 2011
Photography by Carnie Lewis via Flickr (CC)
Having a stereotypically girlie girl (think: skirts that twirl, dress-up, singing, dancing) and a stereotypically boyish boy (think: superheroes, Star Wars, Lego, gaming) born just 20 months apart, the two have spent a good majority of their lives bickering with each other. They can agree on almost nothing in their lives. If one were to say that the sky is blue, the other would argue until she was—quite literally—blue in the face that the sky was, in fact, NOT blue, if only because her brother said it was. They like different movies, different TV shows, different board games, different desserts, different everything. Now, thinking back to how I was with my three siblings as a young child, I realize that sibling rivalry is alive and prevalent in many families; my children are not unique.
But just because this type of constant arguing happens with lots of children, it doesn’t mean I don’t want it to stop.
And what ten and a half years of parenting has done for me has taught me an entirely fool-proof (and also ridiculously cute) way to stop the fighting, if only for five minutes (or three, or four, depending on your rules.) And the only things you need are a) some willpower, b) two hands and c) (this one is optional) a camera.
When the fighting gets to the point where you are ready to lose your mind; when you want to scream from the rooftops “CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!?!” you simply take a deep breath and say the following words.
“Okay. Emily and Josh, I hereby sentence you to 5 minutes of hand-holding time.”
And then you watch them as they sit and hold holds quietly (they aren’t allowed to fight or talk at all!) for exactly five minutes. If they balk, which they probably will, you offer them a hug and a kiss on the cheek, if they’d prefer. I guarantee that they’ll choose the hand-holding, and I guarantee that they won’t like it.
But you will.
And even though it doesn’t permanently put an end to the fighting, it does cause them to think twice about the next few arguments. So there is some peace in our household, even if it’s just for a short while.
—Ali, Senior Associate Editor of Cf.ca
Copyright © 2012 St. Joseph Media. All Rights Reserved.
Well,my 14 year old son won’t hold hands with anybody unless it is to squeeze the life out of the hand and make it hurt. However, I have discovered they fight more when watching TV, movies, or playing on the Wii, so when I can’t take the 14 year old bossing his little 7 year old sister to death I send them to their separate rooms. Eventually, I find they have called a truce and are in my daughters room co-inventing a game with play-dough or something like that and there is only the odd comment made loud enough for me to hear. I think arguing over turns on the tv and other electronic devices causes more problems with them. They do have similar taste in moves – adventure type and my daughter will go along sweetly with a lot her big brother hands out but eventually she screams at him enough for me to separate them.
I have a 14 yr old girl and a 13 yr old boy. I don’t even think they know how to interact with each other unless it is arguing. I like to tell my daughter that is why I had her brother.:) i like the idea of holding hands. I am not sure it will work but I will give it a try. Thanks for the suggestion.