Have you ever caught yourself buying that adorable toddler t-shirt emblazoned with “Princess,” “Spoiled,” or “I’m the Boss”? While these seem like harmless, cute clothing choices, child development experts suggest they might be contributing to a larger cultural shift that’s reshaping how an entire generation views themselves and their place in the world.

Welcome to what researchers call “Generation Me”—a cohort of young people characterized by what educators describe as “an inflated sense of entitlement while offering those around them less of the basic respect, politeness, and sense of responsibility displayed by previous generations.” But before we panic about raising a generation of demanding children, let’s dive deeper into understanding this phenomenon and, more importantly, what Canadian parents can do to foster gratitude, respect, and resilience in their kids.

What Does Entitlement Look Like in Children?

Entitlement in children manifests in various ways, ranging from minor everyday behaviours to more concerning patterns that can impact their relationships and future success.

Everyday Signs of Entitlement

Minor behaviours might include:

  • Dropping garbage and expecting others to clean up without being asked
  • Demanding immediate attention regardless of what parents are doing
  • Expecting praise for basic tasks or behaviours that should be routine
  • Refusing to help with household chores because “it’s not their job”
  • Having meltdowns when they don’t get their way immediately
  • Showing little gratitude for gifts, treats, or special experiences

More significant patterns can escalate to:

  • Disrespectful outbursts when faced with boundaries or consequences
  • Difficulty accepting “no” as an answer
  • Expecting special treatment in group settings
  • Showing little empathy for others’ needs or feelings
  • Blaming others when things don’t go their way
  • Acting aggressively when frustrated or disappointed

The Academic and Workplace Reality

The impact of entitlement extends far beyond childhood tantrums. In 2019, approximately 2,000 Ontario university faculty and librarians surveyed reported that first-year students increasingly exhibit:

  • Reduced emotional maturity compared to previous generations
  • Fewer independent learning skills and greater reliance on external guidance
  • Unrealistic expectations of success without corresponding effort or preparation
  • Difficulty handling constructive criticism or academic challenges
  • Poor time management and organizational skills

This trend continues into the workplace, where Canadian employers report that younger employees often display:

  • Less intrinsic work ethic and motivation
  • Reduced pride in their work quality
  • Fewer “soft skills” like communication, teamwork, and problem-solving
  • Difficulty adapting to workplace hierarchy and expectations
  • Higher expectations for recognition and advancement without corresponding performance

The Root Causes: How Did We Get Here?

Understanding the origins of entitled behaviour is crucial for addressing it effectively. The rise of “Generation Me” isn’t the result of a single factor, but rather a complex interplay of societal, cultural, and family dynamics that have evolved over the past several decades.

Time Constraints and Family Dynamics

The Time Crunch Reality

Statistics Canada data reveals a startling trend: the amount of time workers spent with their families dropped by 20% between 1986 and 2005, and this decline has continued in the smartphone era. For many Canadian families, this means:

  • Guilt-driven parenting: When time is limited, parents often compensate by saying “yes” more frequently or avoiding conflicts
  • Convenience over teaching: It’s faster to clean up toys ourselves than teach children to do it
  • Quality time pressure: Parents feel every interaction must be positive, avoiding necessary but difficult conversations about expectations and consequences

Single-Parent and Dual-Earner Households

With over 60% of Canadian families having both parents in the workforce, family dynamics have shifted significantly:

  • Less time for consistent rule enforcement
  • Increased reliance on external childcare with varying standards
  • Parents who are tired and stressed, making it harder to maintain boundaries
  • Children who may receive inconsistent messages about expectations across different caregivers

The Child-Centric Household

When Children Become Directors

Many modern families have shifted from adult-led to child-centred decision-making:

  • Family activities revolve around children’s preferences rather than teaching them to adapt
  • Meal planning caters to children’s demands rather than encouraging them to try new foods
  • Schedule flexibility means children rarely learn to work within constraints or accept disappointment
  • Entertainment expectations mean children don’t learn to create their own fun or tolerate boredom

The Friend vs. Parent Dilemma

Many well-intentioned parents struggle with the balance between being nurturing and maintaining authority:

  • Fear of damaging their child’s self-esteem by setting firm boundaries
  • Desire to be the “fun parent” rather than the disciplinarian
  • Discomfort with their child’s temporary disappointment or anger
  • Confusion about when to be flexible versus when to stand firm

Cultural and Media Influences

The Self-Esteem Movement Gone Too Far

While building children’s confidence is important, some approaches have had unintended consequences:

  • Excessive praise for ordinary accomplishments
  • Participation trophies that don’t distinguish effort or achievement
  • Avoiding situations where children might experience failure or disappointment
  • Messages that children are “special” without corresponding expectations of behaviour

Social Media and Comparison Culture

Even young children are affected by our increasingly connected world:

  • Constant exposure to curated “perfect” lives on social media
  • Immediate gratification expectations from digital interactions
  • Less face-to-face social interaction and conflict resolution practice
  • Marketing messages that target children with “must-have” products

The Research Behind Generation Me

Dr. Jean Twenge, psychology professor at San Diego State University and co-author of “The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement,” has conducted extensive research on generational differences in personality and behaviour. Her 25 years of data collection indicates that narcissistic traits and sense of entitlement have increased by 30% since 1979 among young people.

Key Research Findings

Personality Assessments Show:

  • Increased scores on narcissism inventories among college students
  • Higher expectations for special treatment and recognition
  • Reduced empathy and concern for others
  • Greater focus on external validation rather than internal satisfaction

Academic Performance Trends:

  • Grade inflation hasn’t corresponded with improved test scores
  • Students expect higher grades for less effort
  • Reduced resilience when facing academic challenges
  • Increased anxiety when performance doesn’t meet expectations

Social Relationship Patterns:

  • Difficulty maintaining long-term friendships and romantic relationships
  • Reduced volunteer work and community involvement
  • Less willingness to make sacrifices for others
  • Higher rates of depression and anxiety despite increased self-focus

What Schools Are Doing: Character Development Programs

Recognizing that many children aren’t learning basic values at home, Canadian schools have implemented comprehensive character development curricula. These programs, now mandatory in Ontario and adopted across other provinces, focus on teaching universal values that were traditionally taught in the family setting.

Core Character Traits Being Taught

Respect: Understanding that everyone deserves dignity and consideration

  • Listening when others speak
  • Using appropriate language and tone
  • Respecting different opinions and backgrounds
  • Taking care of shared spaces and belongings

Responsibility: Taking ownership of one’s actions and commitments

  • Completing assigned tasks without constant reminders
  • Accepting consequences for choices
  • Contributing to family and classroom communities
  • Being honest about mistakes

Honesty: Telling the truth even when it’s difficult

  • Admitting mistakes rather than blaming others
  • Giving accurate information about homework and behaviour
  • Keeping promises and commitments
  • Being authentic rather than trying to impress others

Fairness: Understanding justice and equality

  • Taking turns and sharing resources
  • Following rules even when unsupervised
  • Standing up for others who are treated unfairly
  • Accepting that life isn’t always fair without having a meltdown

Empathy: Considering others’ feelings and perspectives

  • Recognizing when others are upset or uncomfortable
  • Offering help without being asked
  • Making inclusive choices in play and friendship
  • Understanding how their actions affect others

Practical Strategies for Canadian Parents

The good news is that entitled behaviour patterns can be redirected with consistent, thoughtful parenting approaches. Here are evidence-based strategies that Canadian families can implement immediately.

Setting Clear Boundaries and Expectations

Establish Non-Negotiable Rules

Every family needs some absolute boundaries that aren’t up for discussion or debate:

  • Safety rules (car seats, helmets, looking both ways)
  • Respect rules (no hitting, name-calling, or destroying property)
  • Family contribution expectations (everyone helps with household tasks)
  • Basic courtesy requirements (please, thank you, excuse me)

Create Age-Appropriate Responsibility Charts

Ages 2-4:

  • Put toys away after playing
  • Put dirty clothes in the hamper
  • Help set napkins on the table
  • Feed pets with supervision

Ages 5-8:

  • Make their bed (doesn’t have to be perfect)
  • Pack their school bag
  • Clear their dishes after meals
  • Simple meal preparation tasks

Ages 9-12:

  • Do their own laundry
  • Prepare simple meals
  • Take responsibility for homework without reminders
  • Contribute to family grocery shopping and budgeting discussions

Ages 13+:

  • Part-time job or significant volunteer commitment
  • Plan and prepare family meals regularly
  • Manage their own schedule and transportation when possible
  • Contribute to family financial discussions and decisions

Teaching Gratitude and Appreciation

Daily Gratitude Practices

Make gratitude a regular part of your family routine:

  • Dinner table sharing: Each family member shares one thing they’re grateful for
  • Bedtime reflection: End the day by acknowledging something positive that happened
  • Thank you notes: Write notes to teachers, coaches, grandparents, or others who help your family
  • Gratitude journals: Older children can keep a weekly list of things they appreciate

Service Learning Opportunities

Help children understand their place in the larger community:

  • Volunteer as a family at local food banks, animal shelters, or community events
  • Adopt a family during holidays through local charities
  • Neighbourhood help: Shovel elderly neighbours’ driveways, deliver groceries to those in need
  • Environmental stewardship: Participate in local cleanup efforts or conservation projects

The Power of Natural Consequences

Let Reality Be the Teacher

Instead of rescuing children from every disappointment, allow them to experience natural consequences:

  • Forgotten homework: Let them face the teacher’s response rather than rushing to school with forgotten assignments
  • Poor time management: If they’re slow getting ready, they might miss part of a fun activity
  • Disrespectful behaviour: Friends might not want to play with someone who’s unkind
  • Poor money management: If they spend their allowance quickly, they wait until the next payment

Follow Through Consistently

Children need to trust that parents mean what they say:

  • Give warnings only once before implementing consequences
  • Don’t negotiate consequences in the heat of the moment
  • Follow through even when it’s inconvenient for you
  • Remain calm and matter-of-fact about consequences

Reframing Praise and Recognition

Focus on Effort Over Outcome

Instead of “You’re so smart!” try “I noticed how hard you worked on that math problem.” Instead of “You’re the best player!” try “Your practice time really paid off in today’s game.”

Acknowledge Character Over Achievement

  • “I saw you include the new student at lunch today. That was very thoughtful.”
  • “You kept trying even when that puzzle was frustrating. That’s real perseverance.”
  • “Thank you for helping your sister without being asked. That’s what family members do for each other.”

When to Seek Professional Help

While most entitled behaviour can be addressed through consistent parenting changes, some situations may require additional support:

Consider consulting a family therapist if:

  • Your child’s behaviour is escalating despite consistent consequences
  • Aggressive behaviour is directed toward family members, peers, or authority figures
  • Your child shows no empathy or concern for others’ feelings
  • Family stress is affecting your marriage or other relationships
  • You feel completely overwhelmed and don’t know where to start

Educational support might be needed if:

  • Teachers report significant behavioural issues at school
  • Your child is struggling academically due to attitude or effort issues
  • There are concerns about bullying behaviour (as either perpetrator or victim)
  • Learning difficulties might be contributing to behavioural challenges

Building Resilience and Character

The goal isn’t to raise children who never feel disappointed or frustrated, but rather to help them develop the inner resources to handle life’s inevitable challenges with grace and determination.

Teaching Problem-Solving Skills

The STOP Method:

  • Stop and take a breath when frustrated
  • Think about possible solutions
  • Offer your best solution
  • Plan what to do if the first solution doesn’t work

Encourage Independence:

  • Let children solve their own peer conflicts when possible
  • Support them in advocating for themselves with teachers or coaches
  • Allow them to make age-appropriate decisions and learn from outcomes
  • Resist the urge to fix every problem for them

Fostering Genuine Self-Esteem

True confidence comes from competence and contribution, not empty praise:

  • Teach genuine skills that children can take pride in
  • Provide opportunities for children to help others
  • Acknowledge improvement and effort rather than just results
  • Help children set and achieve realistic goals

The Long-Term Vision

Raising children who aren’t entitled doesn’t mean raising children who lack confidence or ambition. Instead, we’re aiming for young people who:

  • Work hard because they understand that effort leads to achievement
  • Treat others with respect because they’ve learned that everyone has value
  • Handle disappointment with resilience because they’ve practiced coping with challenges
  • Contribute to their communities because they understand they’re part of something larger than themselves
  • Feel genuinely confident because their self-worth is based on character and competence, not external validation

Moving Forward: Small Changes, Big Impact

Addressing entitlement doesn’t require a complete family overhaul. Start with small, consistent changes:

This Week:

  • Choose one area where you’ll stop doing things for your child that they can do themselves
  • Implement one new family rule about respect or responsibility
  • Replace one praise phrase with a more specific, effort-focused comment

This Month:

  • Establish a regular gratitude practice
  • Find one service opportunity for your family
  • Let your child experience one natural consequence instead of rescuing them

This Year:

  • Build genuine life skills appropriate for your child’s age
  • Create opportunities for your child to contribute meaningfully to your family and community
  • Focus on building character traits that will serve them well in adulthood

The Bottom Line

The rise of entitled behaviour in children isn’t inevitable, nor is it irreversible. While societal factors have contributed to this trend, individual families have tremendous power to raise children who are grateful, respectful, and resilient. It requires intentionality, consistency, and sometimes the courage to let our children experience temporary disappointment in service of their long-term character development.

Remember that changing patterns takes time, and setbacks are normal. The goal isn’t perfection, but rather progress toward raising young people who will contribute positively to their families, communities, and society. By starting today—even in small ways—Canadian parents can help ensure that the next generation is characterized not by entitlement, but by empathy, resilience, and genuine confidence.

The next time you see that cute “I’m the Boss” t-shirt, you might just walk past it and choose something that reflects the values you want to instill instead. After all, the messages we send our children—both in words and in wardrobe choices—matter more than we might think.