Honestly? Motherhood sucks. Seriously.
Raising a child is hard work. Bringing up a boy who is headstrong, intelligent and ambitious is a difficult job. Nurturing him—a lot of the time on your own—is an exceptionally thorny occupation, full of pitfalls and danger signs…and lots and lots of bruises.
My son can be engaging, polite, endearing, loving, giving, understanding and adaptable. Toss a wrench into the mix when he’s least expecting it and you might swiftly have your head knocked off your shoulders. He can throw a temper tantrum with the best of them (that would be me) when he’s tired, sick or when the moon is in the waning gibbous phase.
However, most people I know have never seen the evil demon side of my son…and probably never will. I have seen it quite a lot lately, and honestly wish I never had. My sweet little child can be quite the monster when he really, really tries (oh, if he’d put that much effort into school, he’d be a[n evil] genius!).
Motherhood is gruesome.
Anyone who tries to tell you differently is either selling something or has never been a mother, known a mother or had a mother. It is the only job in the world where every single day you are absolutely certain you are doing something horribly wrong and yet you continue, without support, without training, day in and day out. In fact, many days, not only do you doubt yourself, but someone else tells you that you are indeed doing something wrong and that you are more than completely incompetent.
If someone could have shown me a video of how my life would play out after having my son (the numerous hospital stays, the chronic fatigue, the chronic kidney disease, the temper tantrums [his and mine], the late nights, the no-sleep nights, the early mornings, the emotional roller coaster that is being a mother) I might not have done it. I might have just gotten a dog and called it quits.
I am extremely thankful that no one bothered to show me that particular video. I am grateful for my son and all the torture he brings into my life on a daily basis because of the additional happiness he also totes around. While he sometimes makes my life more difficult than it ought to be, he also makes it better.
His giggles, his smiles and his hugs are like crack. His made up stories and his songs and his puppet shows are hallucinogenic and magical. Watching him play baseball is probably one of my favourite things to do in the whole world.
While he cant cure my medical problems he does make them significantly more bearable simply by telling me he loves me (“I love you mama”).
Motherhood sucks. But I adore the fact that it sucks to be HIS mom.
This story is part of our New Baby Guide. Check it out for more info on bringing home, planning for and surviving having a new baby.