Parents have ultimate control when it comes to dressing their babies. I’ve been thinking more and more about this as I get closer to my due date, and as I start to gather the elements of what I hope will be an adorable wardrobe for my little guy. But in my searching, I have been baffled by some of the ridiculous things I’ve seen. I’ve never been a fan of shirts with stupid sayings on them to begin with, but onesies with stupid sayings on them are just on a whole other level. So, of course, I had to round up 10 of them to show you.

Here is a true fact: I couldn’t be friends with anyone who bought any of these onesies non-ironically. (And even then…)

Another fact: All of these onesies are real. They are all available for purchase, and many of these delightful phrases can be found from multiple onesie retailers on Etsy, so don’t feel that you must choose these sellers alone. And it should also be noted that every single one of these onesies comes up when you search for “funny onesies.” Some of them are even referred to as “super funny onesies.”

Oh, they’re funny alright, but not in the way they think.