I am an attachment parenting advocate. I think it’s the best way to parent. I think it’s the best way to achieve my parenting goals. I think it’s the best way to foster the type of relationship that I want to have with my children. I think it’s the best way to teach them to treat other people with compassion and respect. But I’m not doing it for any sort of prize or praise from other parents or society at large.
I don’t think that I am a perfect parent. In fact, I don’t think that anyone is a perfect parent. I resent and reject any societal or cultural pressure for us to be perfectly good or perfectly bad parents. For me, following attachment parenting is not about being a perfect parent. It isn’t about having a successful child. For me, it is about something much more important.
As parents, we are all responsible for meeting our children’s basic needs, such as food, shelter, etc. Any number of different parenting styles can acheive that. But I’m looking for more than that. I’m interested in having a meaningful and rewarding relationship with my children. One where we relate to each other as human beings and not one where I am the boss and they are to fall in line.
Sometimes I find attachment parenting easier than other parenting styles and sometimes I find it more difficult. But that’s life. Relationships are sometimes difficult. Relationships require an investment. Relationships require mutual respect. But good relationships are rewarding to the human experience and the type of healthy interdependence promoted by attachment parenting is what healthy societies are made of.
I want to be rewarded by my relationship with my children and I want my children to be rewarded by it too. That is my selfish desire. But my more altruistic desire is for society, as a whole, to place more value on the values of attachment parenting, both within the home and within the community.
- Annie, from PhDinParenting
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