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Top 5 Etiquette Rules for a Kinder, Gentler Playground

August 12, 2010 | 11:52 AM

Playing nicely at the park, happily polite even without a latte.

1 Please leave your broken toys at home. If we wanted to play with crappy plastic toys we wouldn’t be at the park. And, mostly, I don’t want to listen to some dad telling his son over and over, “No, I can’t put the wheels back on, it’s broken.”

2 Ditto age-inappropriate toys. Thanks for ditching your rusted circa-1972 highrider trike here. I really wanted to spend my morning squabbling with my son over his certain death.

3 I dig it. Your babies are the same age, you have matching Lulu outfits and you looove mat leave. Now give someone else a turn on the swing.

4 Let’s make the dog park/playground ratio 80/20. There’s just not enough green space for poop in this city, and it’s much more important that puppies don’t grow up to be unfit, obese and with diabetes.

5 I get it. It’s Ella/Liam’s big day, so it should be your private space. No problem. Please explain that to my toddler, who has been pleading, “Park, park, park,” since six o’clock this morning.

But, seriously, to all the lovely parents we’ve met, thank you for your sweet chatter and advice on daycare, etc. And thank you to the person who donated the adorable, new outdoor playhouse. People like you make the park a kinder, gentler place.

And thank you for not judging me and keeping an eye on my dumpling while I type this at the park. I swear he had that horsey first.

—Melissa, CF’s lifestyle editor

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Hostile Network

PS: Do you ever pick up candy wrappers at your park? What’s your biggest park peeve?

Tags: Ages 0 to 1, Ages 1, Ages 3 to 5, Ages 6 to 8, behaviour, Manners, Park Etiquette, Politeness, Rant
Posted in Rants & Rambles | 5 Comments »

Germ Wars: When is the Battle a Lost Cause?

July 27, 2010 | 2:46 PM

This Clean 'n Comfy cart cover from One Step Ahead sure is sweet, but is it necessary?

The other day I was at the grocery store madly stuffing food into the cart as my toddler, 10 minutes away from her regularly-schedule nap, was beginning to rub her eyes and get a bit persnickety. Not wanting to endure the wrath of a sleepy 17-month-old, I hightailed it to the checkout.

Standing in front of us in line was a family that may well have been enshrouded in a giant bubble: Mom was vigorously rubbing down all of her exposed body parts with hand sanitizer, dad was ensuring that every single piece of produce was perfectly wrapped in a landfill-loathing clear plastic bag for fear that it might actually touch the conveyor belt and baby was avoiding any silent killers that might have been laying in wait in the grocery cart seat with an elaborate, though beautiful, grocery cart cover.

I sheepishly looked over at my own child who, by this point, was alternately chewing on my keys and at the nubby end of a bunch of bananas. Though I scoff at the habits of self-professed germophobes, I sometimes self-consciously wonder if I’m putting my child in harm’s way. As a baby, she met the hands of many adoring strangers when we were out and about. And though we enforce lots of hand-washing at home, I’m not with her all day at daycare so I surely can’t control what she’s picking up and putting in her mouth.

Of course no parent wants to watch their child suffer through a miserable cold or something worse, but at what point do you put down the anti-bacterial toilet seat covers and just hope for the best?

What are your thoughts?

—Christina, CF’s managing editor

Tags: All ages, cold, Germs, grocery store, Health, Illness
Posted in Health & Safety, Rants & Rambles | 2 Comments »

Mammoth Foods Leave a Funny Taste

July 15, 2010 | 7:43 AM

Image courtesy of Dairy Farmers of Canada

Last week I had a chance to take a breather from the office so I set out in the blazing heat and headed down to Toronto’s Harbourfront. I was on a quest for the world’s largest blueberry smoothie.

When I got to the event, sponsored by the Diary Farmers of Canada, the mood was jovial; music was playing, people took turns milking a mechanical “cow” and kids from an inner city day camp gave it their all in a moo-ing contest. All the while, giant buckets of Canadian milk, blueberries, yogurt and honey were added to an industrial-sized mixer (made specially for the event) as an emcee updated the crowd on the progress.

The purpose of the event was to set a new Guinness World Record for the world’s largest smoothie, stamping out the previous record of 681 litres. By about 12:30, the new record—1,000 litres—was set and met with much fanfare. Awards were presented, photos were taken and sampling began.

Even though that smoothie was pretty delicious, I couldn’t help but feel a bit cynical. What was the point of all this? Sure, it brought a bunch of people together for a bit of fun…but it all felt a bit gluttonous. To make the colossal smoothie required 550 litres of milk, 300 kg of blueberries, 150 litres of vanilla yogurt and 35 litres of Canadian honey.

I’m not saying these events shouldn’t happen—after all, it was a great place for families to spend a summer afternoon—but next time someone sets out to build a gigantic menu item, I’d love to see an equal donation from food sponsors to some of the city’s food banks, shelters and school breakfast programs.

What do you think?

—Christina, CF’s managing editor

Tags: All ages, blueberries, Food, Guinness World Record, smoothie, Summer
Posted in Charity & Activism, Fun, Rants & Rambles | No Comments »

Fill in the Blank: I Never Pictured Myself…

June 21, 2010 | 2:52 PM

Although I never looked this good in my Bjorn, I did love that it didn't create a muffin top like other carriers.

I never looked this good in my Bjorn, though I did love that it doesn't create a muffin top effect like other carriers.

Last Friday I was walking down the street with a friend, pushing strollers past a hipster happy-hour spilling out onto the sidewalk from a neighbourhood bistro. And that’s when I started thinking of all the things that, pre-mom, I never would have pictured myself doing, such as:

1. Walking down the street while eating and pushing a stroller.

2. Walking down the street while eating, pushing a stroller and talking at the same time.

3. Cheering “Hooray!” when the elevator finally arrives. Um, yeah, out loud, and at the office.

4. Playing peek-a-boo through a buttonhole on my coat.

5. Walking as though I had a baby strapped to me for a good month post-baby carrier, aka the Bjorn walk.

Melissa, CF’s lifestyle editor

So, fill in the blank. Before I was a mom, I never imagined myself…

Tags: 0-1, Changes, mom
Posted in Rants & Rambles, Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

Time-Saving Solutions: How to Get Out of the House Fast

June 10, 2010 | 2:14 PM

If you saw me and my magpie this morning, you would have noticed that my skirt was more than a smidge past the “Is it really too wrinkly to wear?” point. But hopefully that would have distracted you from my son who was a) chewing on a toothbrush, b) simultaneously scarfing down a coffee-shop muffin, and c) clutching a tube of Clinique moisturizer.

Oh, and we both had damp hair and I was hobbling. I have no idea why he had the moisturizer, other than that when I announce the word daycare each morning, he grabs at least two random objects to take with him. And I have no idea why my feet are suddenly so blister-inducingly chubby.

Getting dressed the night before for Happy Portugal day at daycare.

But the good news is that I do know how we make it to work/daycare at a not entirely unreasonable hour. Here’s how we keep it together on days when I haven’t pre-chopped fruit/veg snacks and howling seems to be our default mode of communication.

1. Put him to bed in Gap jammies, so you just have to switch the bottom in the morning. They’re adorable, good quality and fitted—the tops don’t do that wide at the waist thing and are cuter than most actual tees out there. I aspire to one day putting him to bed fully clothed. Of course, that would involve potty training, so the odds are very, very low.

2. Yes, your Blackberry is the devil. But I like to think that if he can’t see me using it and his mouth is full enough, my attention isn’t really distracted. And it makes sure I have my to-do list ready for when I hit my desk.

3. Keep a pair of socks/shoes in your stroller/car. I take off Sebastien’s shoes before I even unbuckle him, and sometimes don’t even put them on until we get to the daycare door.* (I also leave a jacket/blazer or two out there.)

These tips may seem obvious or lazy, yet it’s definitely working for us. How do you get out of the door fast?

*Warning: following all three of these tips on the same day will most certainly result in you looking like a bad mom. Especially if there is a giant/dark/bruised bite outline on your child’s cheek. If you’re wondering why strangers are furrowing at you, that is likely why.

—Melissa, CF’s lifestyle editor

Tags: Ages 0 to 1, Ages 1 to 2, Ages 3 to 5, Daycare, Morning Routine, Organization
Posted in Advice, Rants & Rambles | 2 Comments »

Great Time-Saving Tips from Our Savvy Readers

May 27, 2010 | 9:40 AM

Photo by roxeteer, via Flickr (CC)

We asked you to share your best and most creative time-saving tips. Here are the 10 best tips:

My family makes frequent overnight trips, so I keep a bag permanently packed with some of the items we always need like a travel alarm clock and mini cosmetics. I also have packing lists for each family member, which has saved us from forgetting essential items on numerous occasions.

- Denise van Wissen, mom of Jeremy, 1, Oakville, Ont.

My family sets aside a special book or toy that can only be read or played with in the stroller. This helps us get out of the door more quickly because my daughter is eager to get in the stroller and play with her special toy.

- Julie Dyer, mom of Lilly, 2, and James, 10 months, Ottawa.

My best time-saving tip is to incorporate my family into my daily tasks. For example, when I go grocrey shopping I like to have the kids help. We get the shopping done in half of the time it would take me to do it alone, and they get a say in the products we buy. They will go get things down aisles while I am reading a label or picking up something else. Shopping goes even faster when my husband comes along too :)

- Lorraine LambieWebb, mom of Sarah 12, and Emily, 10, Chase, B.C.

I keep three laundry baskets in a central location of my home for the whole family to use. When dirty clothes are taken off they get sorted right away into the proper basket. We decorated the baskets so the kids would remember what basket to put their colors, blacks and whites in. Now, instead of me going into each child’s room, gathering all the laundry, and then sorting the laundry-it’s all done!

- Shonna Bechtel, mom of Josh, 7, and Nolan, 4, Waterloo, Ont.

When I go grocery shopping I take a list each time. This not only prevents me from forgetting items but I also do not spend an awful lot of extra time in the grocery store. Once you get to know the store, it is easy to itemze your grocery list by section.

- Summer Plewes, mom of Foxx, 9, Barrie, Ont.

I have four very easy crock pot meals that my family loves. On busy days these are my life savers! I throw them together in the morning then, when we are all home in the evening, dinner is ready.

- Rose van Meel, mom of Clare, 16, Gregory, 13, and Emmaline, 10, Maple Ridge, B.C.

My time-saving tip is to have a diaper change station on each floor of your house. This way no matter where you are, you do not have to waste time looking for the diapers, wipes, etc.

- Jennifer Rayment, mom of Jacob, 8 and Jesse, 1, Bolton, Ont.

The biggest time-sucker for me is my computer! Now I bookmark sites that I want to look at and at the end of the day I make myself a cup of tea and go through them then. I give myself this hour almost every night and I really look forward to it!

- Angela Peters, mom of nine-month-old Chloe, Niagara on the Lake, Ont.

We have three bathrooms in our house-all on different floors. To save time, I keep cleaning supplies in each bathroom. That way when I feel I have a moment to clean them, I have all the supplies right there.

- Debbie Haentjens, mom of Nicholas, 28, Holly, 24, and Bram, 17, Hamilton, Ont.

Once a week I prepare several dishes in huge portions and then instead of freezing the whole dish, I create complete single portion meals that can be easily reheated.

- Susan Kramer, mom of Jay, 16, Niagara Falls, Ont.

Tags: Organization, Time-Saving, tips
Posted in Rants & Rambles | No Comments »

The Best Thing About Being a Mom

May 6, 2010 | 10:45 AM

Illustration by Luc Latulippe

Last year we asked moms across the country about how they managed the hardest, craziest, greatest job in the world (see the results here). Many of the moms who responded also shared their best thing about being a mom:

• “The feeling of accomplishment. If I can raise two girls to be happy, and feel confident tackling just about anything, I will really feel I have done something.”

• “Watching your children have joyful moments in life.”

• “Dancing wildly around the living room together.”

• “Not feeling self-conscious for acting weird in public so you can amuse your kid.”

• “Having my daughter crawl into bed with me in the morning for a snuggle before we start our day.”

• “All of it. The good, the bad and the ugly. The whole experience is worthwhile.”

• “The best thing about being a mom is Liam.”

Mine is the random “I love you mom”s that I get from Charlotte (I call them “drive-bys”). We can be walking home from daycare, playing at the park or just watching a DVD together and she’ll turn to me and say it. It slays me every time.

What is your best thing about being a mom?

—Robin, CF’s senior editor

Tags: Love, Mother's Day, Motherhood
Posted in Rants & Rambles | 1 Comment »

Do Cheaters Prosper?

April 16, 2010 | 7:08 AM

Photo courtesy of iStockPhoto.com

In the April 2010 issue, David Eddie, Globe and Mail advice columnist and author of Damage Control: How to Tiptoe Away from the Smoking Wreckage of your Latest Screw-Up with a Minimum of Harm to Your Reputation (McClelland & Stewart), writes for CF about the emergence of the new, seemingly more accepted face of infidelity and how it affects everyone from celebrities to the common man.

Is it just my imagination, or has infidelity—blushing and giggling, coyly covering its privates, but not nearly as embarrassed or ashamed of itself as it used to be—come out of the closet lately?

My wife, Pam, has informed me that if I am ever foolish enough to cheat on her, there will be very little point in attempting to perform any sort of damage control on the situation. I will be served my bachelor papers on the spot, and find myself in one of those hotels with a neon sign with a letter missing—HOT-zzt!-L, HOT-zzt!-L, sipping cheap bourbon and staring at a picture of our children with hot tears streaming down my cheeks, before I can say “Pam, I am so, so…”

And I’m lucky, in the sense that I don’t spend one minute of time or one kilojoule of energy imagining I might get away with it, that I might be able to slip an adulterous affair past her uncanny witch radar. Pam’s like Sherlock Holmes’s smarter sister. If I’ve been home and she’s been out, she can come home, take a look around and tell me what I’ve been up to all day: “Hmm, you made yourself a tuna melt for lunch; then you took the dog for a walk, but you forgot to bring a plastic bag, so you had to double back,” etc., etc.

It’s freaky! There’s no way I’d try to slip something as deceitful, duplicitous, and, above all, detail-oriented as adultery past Pam.

There is one interesting codicil in her policy, though: as long as certain conditions were met, she says she would be able to get over it if I had a one-night stand. “What?” one of my (married, male) friends, awash in incredulity and, I think, envy, said when I dropped this little information-grenade on him, once. “You have a pass for a one-night stand?”

Click here to read Eddie’s complete article, where he discusses celebrity sexcapades, whether monogamy really is the best policy and the one woman who he probably couldn’t say “no” to (Hint: It’s not his wife).

For more information on David Eddie, his column and his latest book, visit his website.

Tags: David Eddie, Infidelity, Marriage
Posted in Moral Question, Rants & Rambles | 1 Comment »

Defending the Decision to Raise an Only Child

March 16, 2010 | 7:06 AM

Photography by Carlo Mendoza

Like many parents of only children, Laura Poce often finds herself having to explain her and her husband’s decision to stop having kids after their son Zachary was born.

“Why not give Zachary a little brother or sister?”

“Do you want him to grow up alone?”

“How will he adjust when around other kids?”

Poce has heard it all, and more, and wrote about her experiences defending her decision to raise an only child for Canadian Family. To read Poce’s article, click here.

Many of our readers have also had to deal with unsolicited parenting advice. Have you? Read what some of our readers have had to say, and feel free to leave a comment on your own experiences below:

“At first I would try to explain my choices, but that never worked. Sometimes they just felt they had kids before me, therefore they were right and I was wrong. Now I have learned to smile, say thank you and move on. I only ask for advice when I really need it from moms I really trust.” – Connie Del Basso, mom of Danila, 1, Melbourne, Ontario.

“First, I try to understand if they are being judgmental or sincerely helpful. That makes a big difference. If they are trying to be helpful, I try to take their advice to heart because, let’s be honest, much of your parenting techniques involve intuition, trial and error. It’s a different story, however, if the tone is judgmental. I will defend my position, thank them for their advice and carry on. There are also those people in the middle who defy a parent’s position even after you have said ‘No’ for various reasons—the perfect stranger who invites your child to pet her dog with a promise that he doesn’t bite; the aunt who says ‘come on Mom, let them stay up late just once.’ These acts send a message that says ‘don’t listen to your parent, we have something more fun this way.” - Sue Hutton, mom of Jenna, 10, and Alyssa, 7, Sherwood Park, Alberta.

“When someone offers advice or opinions I usually thank them and let them know that what we are doing is working for us. At the end of the day, that’s what really maters; that my husband and I have done our research, spoken with our support group (GP and friends,) and have come to our own educated conclusions.” – Kendra Michael, mom of six-month-old Julian, Toronto.

Tags: Only Child
Posted in Rants & Rambles | 1 Comment »

Kids’ Food Allergies Aren’t Nuts

March 8, 2010 | 11:25 AM

Photo by Carlo Mendoza

Despite recent coverage that says otherwise, it’s essential to be vigilant about food allergies in schools. In a don’t-do-what-I-did narrative featured in the April 2010 issue—available on newsstands March 15th—CF’s editor-in-chief Jen Reynolds tells the story of how she discovered her son has a life-threatening allergy to peanuts:

I was sitting in the hairdresser’s chair when I first read the story. I was getting a full head of high and lowlights done, so I brought copies of the December 2009 issue of Chatelaine and a new issue of The New Yorker, and set a challenge for myself to see if I could get through every word before I was blonde again. It was halfway through when my face turned beet red and the colourist stopped quickly, wondering if I was having some kind of allergic reaction to the hair dye. It turned out I was having a reaction to Chatelaine’s story about food allergies, specifically peanut allergies—a subject very close to my heart.

For anyone who hasn’t read the piece, its author, Patricia Pearson, accuses parents of overestimating and overreacting to the threat that food allergies pose to children. She questions the prevalence of peanut allergies, the accuracy of allergy tests and the decision to make schools peanut-free. Basically, in a whiny I’m-hard-done-by-because-my-son-who-is-a-picky-eater-can’t-bring-a-PB&J-sandwich-to-school tone, she manages to offend everyone with a life-threatening food allergy—and those who care about people with that condition.

Not surprisingly, the magazine’s website has 629 comments responding to the article, most of them condemning the piece from parents of anaphylactic kids. (According to Statistics Canada, close to 90,000 kids are allergic to peanuts.) On cbc.ca, a well-crafted, fact-filled response from Allergic Living magazine’s editor Gwen Smith solicited another 263 comments echoing a similar disdain for the Chatelaine article. Pearson’s account, says Smith, “skewers the hard-won accommodations in schools to protect food-allergic children, confuses facts and statistics, and never pauses to speak to a principal or a parent of a child who has experienced anaphylaxis, the most serious form of allergic reaction.”

As a mom of a school-age son with an anaphylactic peanut allergy, I agree with Smith and find Pearson’s comments disheartening, irresponsible and dangerous.

To read how Jen discovered her son’s allergy, the mistakes she and her husband made when treating it and what she’s learned as a result, click here.

This article and other hot button topics including infidelity, teaching morality in schools, sex, lying to your kids and how TV and video games are actually good for your kids are all in the April 2010 issue on newsstands March 15th.

Tags: Allergies, Peanuts
Posted in News, Parenting Solutions, Rants & Rambles | 23 Comments »