Devon, 17, is a seasoned babysitter who loves kids. But she’ll never forget the night she was saddled with the job of tending three souped-up boys under the age of 10. “They were so crazy. I can’t even explain it,” recalls Devon, who lives in Calgary. “They were everywhere, into everything. They were on the table. They had taken their clothes off, and they were running around.” She adds, “I felt kind of powerless. It wasn’t fun.” While the boys’ mom said she was sorry about the trouble the teen had with her sons, Devon says it would have been nice to have a little heads-up about what she was getting into.

All parents need a night off, and paying a few dollars to a neighbourhood teen to take care of the kids may seem like a good setup. We often put effort into enlisting just the right sitter. But what happens after the hire? We asked babysitters and parents how to make sure the evening is a smash — not a bust.

start the night right

It all starts with the way you prepare your .kids for a sitter, says Fran Kammermayer, a family educator in Vancouver. “I think it’s important that children realize that it’s not just about play.” She suggests saying, “The babysitter is going to play with you and be in charge of putting you to bed.” Tots who are already fed, bathed and in their jammies when the sitter arrives will make her job that much simpler.

The babysitter needs to be prepped, too. Give her a tour of the house: show her where you keep clean bedsheets, where you dump dirty diapers and where the Dora and Diego bandages are. Share basic discipline strategies in case they’re needed. (Do you practice time-outs or 1-2-3 Magic? The sitter will need to know.) And explain the bedtime routine in mundane detail so the sitter can follow it. “Children need that consistency last thing at night,” Kammermayer says.

Irene McArthur, who leads babysitting courses for the Canadian Red Cross across Cape Breton Island, N.S., agrees. “A little two-year-old can be very belligerent if things aren’t done the way his mommy does it,” she says.

get comfortable

New sitter? Make the transition easier by giving the teen and your children time to get acquainted. In fact, 15-year-old Emily Bavis, of Toronto, says she spends an hour with the kids on a day before a new babysitting job (at no charge), and also arrives half an hour early for the job, so the kids have time to get to know her while the parents are still there.
And what boosts the sitter’s comfort level? Much of the time, it’s just good communication. Bavis likes to be told if the baby didn’t nap well today, or warned if parents are going to be out later than usual. If she’s required to make dinner, she appreciates a run-through (and it helps if the menu is basic — hot dogs instead of roast chicken) and where to find the child’s favourite plate, spoon or bedtime snack.

bedtime blues

Kids love to stall when mom and dad aren’t there, says Kayleigh Forbes, 16, who babysits regularly in her Toronto neighbourhood. “Usually the kid goes to bed later than his actual bedtime. Most kids say “No, no, I can’t go to bed yet.”
McArthur suggests that when you’re talking about bedtime, make sure your kids are within earshot. “The child knows that the babysitter knows. Otherwise Jack says, “I don’t go to bed at eight o’clock, I go to bed at nine!”

And what about phoning at bedtime to bid your bambino sweet dreams? “It can upset what might have been a peaceful time,” points out Kammermayer. “Parents can say goodnight before they leave. I know we all have cellphones and we are very reachable. But we need to give our children autonomy and promote resilience by not phoning.”

talk it out

Kammermayer says that clear communication is also essential when things don’t go well. “I want to know if there’s been
a problem, so we can talk about how the sitter handled it, and look at it for the next time.” And encourage the sitter to
be candid as well. “I’d rather know that a few things had gone wrong than hear that everything was perfect,” admits Kammermayer. And addressing your sitter’s concerns means she’ll likely work for your family again, instead of spreading the word to other babysitting friends about your “nightmare kids.” After all, you would like to be able to go out again at some point, right?

Tip: No matter who you hire, schedule an interview with each candidate and make sure they have current first aid qualifications.

A Toronto mom and freelance writer, Lisa Bendall’s second book, Raising a Kid with Special Needs: The Complete Canadian Guide (Key Porter) is now available in bookstores.

In search of a local sitter? Keep reading for tips to finding a great sitter and don’t foget to download our babysitter checklist before you head out for the evening.