It’s great to be a new father. But let’s be honest ““ at first you don’t always feel useful, given that you’re not the one with the boobs. Aside from doing the dishes and hauling dirty diapers to the curb (after changing them, of course!), dads have a very important role to play: bonding with baby. “Dads really want to be more involved, and feel like they have to express their own entitlement to that time with the baby,” says Kerry Daly, director of the Father Involvement Research Alliance, a nation-wide program based at the University of Guelph in Ontario. Happily, the little things you do for and with your baby amount to a lot. We asked real dads how they carve out some quality father-child time early on.

Plan ahead

Dads-to-be should recognize that baby’s demands will tax Mommy, and know they can be a great help by taking the baby off her hands. But talk it out first, says Daly ““ new moms may be hesitant to give up primary caregiving duties. Adam Benson, who lives in Surrey, BC, says he and fiancée Linsey made a game plan for sharing baby duties before their son, Marcus, was born. “That helped tremendously,” says Benson. He does much of the housework and takes Marcus to the park regularly. He also attends a weekly group for fathers and their young children. “It gives Mom a break, gets Marcus used to being away from her, and it creates a better bond for us,” he says. Just remember that you may need to adjust plans you make beforehand once baby actually arrives.

Sweat the small stuff

Your baby’s attachment to you will come, in good part, from just holding him and from eye contact, says Daly. “It’s the simple forms of attention that, at this stage, are critical.” Even if the baby is asleep, holding him close to you develops that attachment. “To me, any time spent in physical contact, even unconscious, is bonding,” says Andrew Burr, a Montreal graduate student, whose son, Dylan, was born last year.

Take it outside

Mateusz Zurowski, a Toronto psychiatrist, spent a lot of time with his son, Xavier, early on. His wife, Mary-Anne, needed to study for her final exams to become a surgeon, two months after the birth. A favourite activity: strapping Xavier in the Baby Bjorn and taking him for walks to a local bookstore, where they could browse and bond. “I just wanted him to feel secure, to know someone was there to look after him,” says Zurowski. In Burr’s case, when Dylan proved an early riser, he would put him in the carrier and take him for long walks outside, allowing wife Penny to sleep.

Get down at circle time

David Sheftel, a community counsellor who runs a weekly dads program in Surrey, likes to get his dads in a circle with their kids at the end of the session ““ to recite Mother Goose rhymes. Some of the men are standoffish initially. “The idea of sitting in a circle with a bunch of kids and other men is terrifying for guys the first time,” says Sheftel. “But when they see how much the kids enjoy it, they’ll get down on the floor.” Contact your local library, drop-in centre or your neighbours to find programs like this near you.

Sing!

Some dads are bashful when it comes to singing. No need. Just think, there’s finally someone in your life who actually appreciates it when you unleash your inner rock star. Burr, a talented musician, doesn’t just sing, he writes songs for Dylan. He played his guitar close to Penny’s belly before Dylan was born; more recently, he sat Dylan on his lap at the piano. As Dylan smashed the keys, Burr harmonized with him. Playing a song on the guitar is now part of Dylan’s bedtime routine. “It’s almost like having an audience to play for ““ a totally captive and adoring audience.”