Jakob, 9, thinks an earring would be super cool: “I like the way it looks and it fits the style I like.” But when he asked his mom to get his ear pierced, Sonja Babic of Toronto had a jaw-clenching vision of the tattoos and body piercings for years to come. So, concerned about this proverbial slippery slope—and his ability to properly care for his ear piercing—she said no to her son’s request. “I said he had to wait until he was 16,” says Babic.

For parents of unpierced preteens, the “can I?” question is likely coming. Here’s some stuff worth considering.

Better piercing practices

Pain and infection are the two common risks associated with piercing. You can minimize both for your child by choosing an experienced piercing technician operating in a clean workspace and using properly sterilized equipment. Many mall jewellery shops and salons offer piercing services with a piercing gun. Usually this is “free” with the purchase of earrings starting from $20 a pair. If you go this route, find a piercing technician with at least a few years’ experience. Also, examine where the piercing is done. Check for cleanliness and ask how non-disposable equipment is sterilized. An autoclave is the gold standard, but soaking tools in antiseptic is way more common—and less effective, says Dr. Henry Ukpeh, a consulting pediatrician residing in Trail, B.C.

Consider spending a bit more (about $35 per ear) at a quality body-piercing studio instead, where medical-grade sterilization practices are the norm. “I only pierce with prepackaged, single-use surgical steel needles,” says Shayne Fitzgerald, a piercer at a popular downtown-Toronto piercing and tattoo studio. “All the other tools, like clamps, are sterilized in an autoclave.” When visiting a studio, ask to see the autoclave, cleaning logs and recent spore-test results (which confirm the machine’s effectiveness), suggests Fitzgerald. Reputable studios often post their Board of Health sterilization reports right in the waiting area.

Avoiding infection

While being choosy about piercers is crucial, aftercare is equally important. Clean the piercing the way the piercer recommended, which may include washing the area daily with a vegetable-based glycerine soap. “Don’t touch the earring. Don’t play with it. Try not to sleep on it,” says Fitzgerald. Other no-nos for the first two months include swimming in lakes, pools or hot tubs (freshwater can contain harmful bacteria, and chlorine can irritate the area) or changing earrings until the piercing has set.

Fitzgerald says distilled witch hazel can soothe minor irritations. Dr. Ukpeh recommends using an antibacterial ointment. But don’t ignore warning signs. Infection symptoms include pain, swelling, redness, oozing fluid and the piercing feeling hot to the touch. You may also notice tiny sores around the piercing. Call your piercer for advice, says Fitzgerald. But if the pain persists, “then your child’s doctor needs to take a look,” says Dr. Ukpeh.

Avoiding metal allergies

Some kids may adversely react to an earring’s nickel or titanium content. Symptoms include localized itchiness, a rash, swelling, pain and/or the oozing of yellow fluid. It’s best to opt for surgical stainless steel or 14K or 18K solid gold earrings.

If your child exhibits allergy symptoms, see your pediatrician. Discomfort may cause your child to touch the site constantly, increasing the risk of secondary infection. “An allergy means a chronic inflammatory process is going on, and if it continues, it can lead to chronic dermatitis or even the formation of scar tissue, which can deform the ear significantly,” warns Dr. Ukpeh.

Is it right for your preteen?

Given some of the health concerns, some may prefer to delay this rite of passage to teen rather than tweenhood. But if your child can’t wait, don’t panic. Beamsville, Ont., mom Kelly Putter let her daughter get her ears pierced two years ago. “A lot of Gaby’s peers already had pierced ears, so I figured if they could do it at eight, nine or 10, so could she at 11.” Gaby admits the level of post-piercing care was surprising. “I didn’t get in the beginning how much effort would be involved,” says the now 13-year-old. After a period of discomfort, during which Gaby wouldn’t let anyone near her ears, the keepers were removed. So how does Gaby feel about her pierced ears now? “Totally worth it.”

Yuki Hayashi’s nine-year-old daughter wanted earrings until the reality of having holes punched into her ears struck home.