Brotherly Love

Tom Everitt credits his father for being the impetus for becoming a Big Brother. “I lost my dad to a nasty form of brain cancer in 2000. He was a great, very shy, very hardworking man and I was lucky to have him.” After his loss, the married Everitt, 35, decided he too wanted to be a positive role model to a child, like his own dad had been for him. “Big Brothers stresses that the kids just want a friend, not a father, and I figured I could do that.” In 2002 the Big Brothers of Greater Vancouver matched the real estate agent with Chris — a shy 10-year-old. “But you should see him now,” Everitt boasts. “Chris is over six feet tall and a really great, really balanced, happy guy. I’m so proud.”

Now with two children of his own — Capri, 6, and Bowen, 4 — Everitt is pleased to report he and Chris, who is completing a heavy mechanics course at college, are still friends. “My children love Chris. They consider him an uncle. Chris is actually coming over tonight. We are going to put the kids to bed, have dinner and watch a movie. My wife doesn’t like goofy comedies but Chris does. He likes to hang with me and do some of the things my children are still too young to do and my wife wouldn’t be caught dead doing. I love it. I think if more men knew they could have a buddy to do guy things with, they’d be all over it.”

As for the time commitment, Everitt believes even the busiest people can find a few hours each month. “It is three to four hours a week for a year. That’s it.” And, he adds, there is so much in it for the adult as there is for the kids. “We’ve done radio interviews, MC’d bowling events as well as the Big Brothers night in Vancouver and attended hockey games. It’s been wonderful. Also, Big Brothers has tons of ideas for doing things, barbecues to attend, and a coordinator who will help if the ideas dry up.”

And, he adds, after a year, the minimum amount of time to keep a match going is just once a month. So little investment for such big reward, he stresses. “I have learned more from Chris than I ever thought possible. I know what my kids are going to be like when they are 10 years old and at 13 and 14. This is all because of Chris. As Chris’s mom has reminded me over the years, just because you may not visually see the results, doesn’t mean they aren’t there. She’s been thrilled and that makes me a very happy man,” says Everitt. “I think my father would have been very proud.”

Mentoring Is Good For Everyone

The Standard Life Youth Index Survey, a study conducted by Ipsos Descarie in 2009 compared the attitudes of Big Brothers and Big Sisters volunteer mentors with average Canadians. Half of the youth mentors polled (51%) described their lives as “very happy,” compared to only 29% of Canadian adults. When asked if they were optimistic or pessimistic about life, 81% of the mentors said optimistic, compared to 63% of adults who had not been engaged in youth mentoring.

Mentoring Canada defines mentoring as: when a trusted and experienced individual freely acts as a friend, advisor, coach, guide, teacher or role model to someone less experienced and in need of such a relationship.

To find out more about getting involved in youth mentoring programs, check out Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Canada.