The Kennington family didn’t just move across town twice in the past two years, they moved provinces, and mom Faye admits she hates that there’s been so many transitions for their daughter Seija. To get the six-year-old psyched about the latest move from Calgary back to British Columbia, Kennington says the family focused on the positive aspects of the move like such as being closer to her maternal grandparents and learning to surf in the ocean. It also helped that Seija has proven to be pretty adaptable, says Kennington. “We framed each move as an adventure and that suits her personality.”

Make it home before you get there

Moving to a new house can be overwhelming for some children but you can ease their fears by making it real to them, says Dr. Rina Gupta, an assistant professor in school/applied child psychology at Montreal’s McGill University. “If you aren’t able to take your kids with you before the move, you should at least show them pictures of their new home. When children actually know what they are moving on to, they are better able to process the move and their anxiety levels do go down,” says Dr. Gupta.

Ellie Sadinsky did just that for her two boys, 8 and 4, in preparation for their move to Kingston, Ont., from Toronto. “We talked about their new rooms and promised that they could pick a paint colour. We drove them by the school they were going to attend, had a tour of their classrooms and met the teachers. We explained as best as we could why we were moving. We talked about our favourite things about Kingston including a particular ice cream store and sleepovers at their grandparents.”

Older kids may also enjoy finding out information about your new neighborhood online, so that once you get there they already know where the mall and movie theatre are located. “Whatever the age of your child, giving them input straight away will make them feel like it’s their home before they get there,” says Dr. Gupta.

Understand their concerns

When your children are stressing out about leaving their old house and friends it can be tempting to point out how much better the new house will be or tell them that they’ll make better friends in an effort to placate them, but Dr. Gupta warns against this. “It’s important to validate those negative feelings instead of dismiss them. Allow them to feel whatever they feel and empathize with them, say “I understand,’” she says. Give your child the chance to tell you what’s most worrisome and work on ways to resolve those feelings.

Clarice had just turned nine when she and her parents moved from Portland, Ore., to Vancouver and moving away from a school she loved was a really big deal for her. “Clarice was really upset about leaving her friends behind,” says Clarice’s mom, Elizabeth Barnes. So she worked hard at keeping Clarice connected to her friends. “Clarice had already started using email, so I encouraged her to give out her email address to her friends as that would be the easiest way to communicate, of course now they text,” says Barnes, “And I made an effort to stay in touch with a couple of her friends’ parents to facilitate future visits.”

Moving is stressful and exciting, even without kids, but by doing a little bit of legwork beforehand you can make the move easier for them. This, in turn, will make the move easier for them but for you too. Kids are resilient and will get through it, though Dr. Gupta says that the moves that really affect kids are those associated with divorce or remarriage. In those cases, it’s important that parents realize that anxiety over the move may have more to do with the change in the family’s fabric, and seek help if necessary.

Transition tips

Laurene Livesey Park, a mom of two and a professional organizer based in Bowmanville, Ont., has been through eight smooth moves of her own and recommends the following:

• Let your kids pack and label a special box with all the things they need for their bedtime routines that will make them feel more at home in the new house straight away.

• Line up the necessary documentation that will allow your kids to transition smoothly in to the activities that are important to them. “This might mean getting a letter from their piano teacher explaining the level they are at, or any certificates they might need to prove grading in martial arts or swimming,” she says.