As host of the hit TV show Til Debt Do Us Part on Slice, Gail Vaz-Oxlade knows just how easily money can cause a rift. “The most common discord I see between couples is that one is a planner, one isn’t; that, or there’s a desire to avoid conflict, and someone is supporting someone else’s financial bad habits.” Here’s the straight talk on how your whole family can be financially fit from this hold-no-punches mom of two.

Let your honesty decide how many and what type of accounts to hold with your partner

If you’ve recently taken a cash advance on your credit card, been overdrawn, bounced a cheque, or taken cash out of an ATM that’s not your bank’s (spending three bucks to get 20? That’s crazy), try this easy option:

“Share one account. You may then have satellite savings accounts for various purposes — savings accounts traditionally cost nothing — like home maintenance. For example, set aside in your budget three to five percent of the value of your home every year for maintenance, calculating what this is per month. Open up a savings account and have that monthly amount automatically deducted from your transaction account into that savings account.”

If both you and your partner are financially responsible:

“Try mine, yours and ours accounts. Each individual has an account and you decide how much goes into a joint account monthly and run the household off of that, keeping extra money separate.”

If each of you has a history of good money management and are very logical:

“Some very logical people move all their money into a single savings account, and set up a separate page in their journal for each amount, such as $500 for home maintenance, $200 for car insurance, and so forth.”

Don’t mommy your partner

One person can be in charge of daily transactions, but that partner can’t be the only one with a view of the full picture. Vaz-Oxlade suggests setting a monthly update meeting, and if you anticipate extra spending, let your partner know. When you don’t, that’s where Vaz-Oxlade sees things break down. “What happens is, $300 is available in the account. She has a plan for it, but he sees it and makes his own plan for it. That $300 can’t be used for two things. While some people perceive this as checking up on the other person, as a control issue, it is not, unless you make it that. And never put hubby on an allowance.”

How to maintain your own financial identity

The sad truth is many divorces hit one partner as a total surprise. That’s why Vaz-Oxlade recommends even the most entrenched-in-bliss lady prepare for the ugly. “I recently got a question from a woman who had checked her credit after divorce and wanted to know why her mortgage wasn’t listed,” she says. “It was on her husband’s report, because most mortgages are only reported to the credit bureau for the first name on the application.” Ask your mortgage institution if it will report in both names. “Joint credit cards are also a misstep: the second person on the card doesn’t get anything reported in his or her own name, but can do a whole lot of damage to the other one’s rating.”

The best lesson to teach your teen

Credit cards account for a majority of consumer debt. Giving one to a teen lets her learn how it works. But there’s a catch. “I’d start kids 12 years of age and older out with the Bank of Mom. You charge the item for them, you issue them a statement, they have to pay you on time or you charge interest and/or repossess their stuff.”