How to Foster the Father/Teen Connection
build on your strengths
“There are two paths to intimacy,” says Dr. Pickhardt. “One is confiding. The other is companionship.” If Dad isn’t comfortable in confiding, he can create companionship opportunities, even if it’s just working side by side doing yard work or cooking dinner. Lindquist has coached his kids in a variety of sports since they were very young, and the family vacations together frequently. As a result, his kids want to spend time with the family. “I suggested selling our annual timeshare in Tennessee last year,” says Lindquist. “The kids had a fit because they have too much fun on those trips.” You can also show your support by attending school events and games. And remember, all that driving to and from the mall leaves you perfectly positioned to get the latest scoop on their lives.
Shelley Divnich Haggert enjoys encouraging her teenaged daughters and their dad to stay connected—it leaves her more time to write about all of them.
away from home
Non-custodial dads may find that the long-standing visitation schedule is disrupted as their teens’ peers become a bigger priority. Remember, it’s about quality, not quantity. “Things will change,” says Paquette. “Look for ways to communicate outside face time, like email, instant messaging or Facebook.” Keep abreast of school activities, attend events and be willing to work around their social schedule. Continue to seek out those opportunities for companionship when you are with your kids. Remember, kids are looking for consistency.
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