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Angry Dad Shoots Daughter’s Laptop: Did He Go Too Far?
February 10th, 2012
Where do firearms fit in your arsenal of parenting skills?
We admit that we snickered bit over this video clip of a fed-up father taking his teen to task in a very public way with a .45 pistol, but we cringed, too.
The dad in the cowboy hat, North Carolina resident Tommy Jordan, discovers a profanity-peppered anti-chore diatribe on his daughter’s Facebook page. He reads her letter aloud, addresses her accusations, calls her “lazy,” and wraps things up taking a gun to the laptop she used to write the letter.
We’re of several minds about this at CF.ca—we were once teenage girls and see a bit of ourselves in the daughter’s letter. As the parent of a 5-year-old firecracker, I feel a bit like I’ve seen the portent of things to come. And we know that everywhere, parents of teens are cheering.
Guns and giggles aside, this dad made a rotten choice taking this laptop shoot-up public. He’s obviously angry about his daughter’s attitude, and embarrassed that she’s posted the letter to a public forum. But the clip feels like revenge with an undercurrent of shaming, and that’s bad parenting.
I understand the impetus behind his response, but Shoot ‘Em Up Dad missed an important opportunity for teaching and listening. His daughter is entitled to her feelings—and it sounds like she’s upset. A letter signed, “Your Pissed-Off Daughter” couldn’t be clearer—Jordan has an angry kid who is feeling unheard and overburdened. Rather than open up a discussion, he shuts her down with a gun (Seriously? Who does that?), adding to her alienation.
My advice would be to start with family review and possible redistribution of responsibilities. Also, it sounds like Jordan and his daughter both need a discussion of appropriate venues for privately venting frustrations (does anyone keep a diary anymore?). And someone needs to put this family’s laptops and guns into “Toy Purgatory” for at least a week.
I can’t see how this tactic will help things between this dad and daughter duo. On the other hand, who knew hollow-point bullets go for a dollar a pop?
Update: It turns out that Tommy Jordan’s daughter isn’t the only one learning a lesson about posting things online. After his video exploded on the Web, Jordan was deluged by thousands of responses on YouTube and Facebook. Support and criticism poured in, as did interview requests. Jordan took to Facebook to answer interview questions from the Toronto Star newspaper. His response is thoughtful and measured, and doesn’t include a single gunshot.
What do you think? Did he go too far?
Copyright © 2012 St. Joseph Media. All Rights Reserved.
That was frightening… and crazy!
I think this guy did exactly the right thing. His daughter had already been grounded once for her use of the public forum (facebook) for complaining. Perhaps this was the only way he could think of to convey how truly upset he was. If it was my daughter doing this I too would take away her laptop, and smash it with a sledgehammer. This will teach her a lesson for sure. His use of a fire are was in no way irresponsible, as it was done safely.
agreed Tanya! I do not agree with the person who wrote this article, people I see with the “open conversations” and letting their kids express their feelings are the ones who end up with kids that live at home and keep ending up living at home because they can’t get on in the real world. A boss wouldn’t take this, and neither should a parent!
this is got to be the best thing going for the newest generation kids, the owed generation as i call it, this man is my hero, and will continue to be one if he keeps to his word, all the people that think he was excessive or frightning, dont see the world for what it is, its a cruel world and nothing is handed to you, you have to work for it, you have to earn it.
i think all the people that think its extreme should of gotten there butts spanked more when they were young, because apparently not enough gray matter was moved around to allow them to think properly
What concerns me is what we don’t see on camera. Afterall, if he was abusive to his child, would he include that in the video too.
To be honest this hits a nerve with me; my father use to damage items that were valued to my siblings and I and my 18 yr old sibling became my guardian when I was 15 for good reason. There was alot of abuse to say the least.
Seriously, lets use the most powerful bullets we have to ruin something that was just upgraded.
I think social services should atleast look into this man, if he is clean he has nothing to worry about.
This father should be charged for firing a gun in public. What he did will damage his relationship with his daughter. If I were her I’d report him to social services. she would be removed he would be charged. Whats he Going to do if she crosses a line again? Shoot her 8 times with his 45. He is fare to unstable and a bad parent.
I applaud the point behind this 100 percent….and if more parents weren’t afraid of their children and spent more time teaching and applying real consequences…maybe our children as a general rule wouldn’t be the self entitled, spoiled adults we are responsible for raising.