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Debate: Is it Ever Okay to Publicly Shame Your Child?
August 25th, 2011
Photography by Kevin Pack, via Flickr (CC)
What do you do when your child keeps misbehaving and getting into trouble, despite your best efforts to discipline them and point them in the right direction? For one mom in Townsville, Australia, the answer was an old-fashioned public shaming.
According to a report by The Globe and Mail, the woman made her son stand in a public place with a sign that read “Do not trust me. I will steal from you as I am a thief” as a punishment for repeated shoplifting.
The “Tough Love Mum” as she’s being called by the media said that she had tried multiple other forms of discipline to stop her 10-year-old son from shoplifting, but nothing seemed to work. “We’ve had a process over the last three years of him shoplifting and stealing whatever he can get his hands on,” she said, according to a report by the Townsville Bulletin. “I have taken him to the police station, had the police officers take him around, shown him a paddy wagon, shown him all the cells, shown him the process of being charged. I’ve taken him to the court house. I’ve done all that. I have put him into courses, I have had counselling down, I have done everything I can. You name it. I’ve had him at the shops where he’s stolen from, I’ve got the shop owners to call the police and have the police come and have a talk to him.” When she caught her son stealing again, she had had enough.
But not everyone agrees with her extreme tactics. “This gives the child the message that they should be sneakier,” Townsville Child Psychologist Nicole Pierotti said in an interview with the Townsville Bulletin. “He’s learning ‘don’t get caught’.”
What do you think about this “public shaming”? What would you do in this mother’s situation?
Copyright © 2012 St. Joseph Media. All Rights Reserved.
Well, i don’t know if I would do exactly what she did but she sure tried everything possible. I would have to give her credit for all her hard work in trying to train him. I know my teenager got mouthy with me while walking to the store and kept telling me to shissh, so I turned around and walked back home and refused to say anything to him so he couldn’t shish me. Then he got grounded by his dad and I got the errands done by myself with no one fighting with me. What ever works. This young man of hers being only ten.?? And a prolific stealer. I wonder if she tried stealing all his things from his room and seeing how he liked that. Then give them back one at a time for good behaviour???? But i am no expert!
I was wondering if perhaps she allowed him to do chores/work for money. I think he needs to get a better understanding of what honest pay is so that he inevitably feels proud for earning (and spending) his honest pay. These are positive feelings so it should make him behave positively. Perhaps the problem is that he doesn’t quite understand what honesty is and needs to learn through a process that will take time and patience.. Good luck!