Two of the Kids Who Do Not Think Their Dad is Cool

In his final Family Jewels guest blog post, Zeeshan Hamid of Why My Hair Don’t Grow No More opens up about the pain of finding out that his kids do not consider him cool.

This post may make you cry a little for me.

I am only 31.  As far as I knew, I was a cool dad. You know, one of those fathers their children pointed to and said: “My dad is cool.”  Then it all changed about 25 minutes ago.

My 6-year-old was talking about someone as “really cool”.  I naively asked, “You think I am cool, right?”  He chuckled.
My first thought was: of course I am cool. It’s such a silly question that it made him laugh. Me and my insecurities!
But, unfortunately, that wasn’t it.  With a giant smile on his face he clarified: “You are not cool.”

“What do you mean? What makes people cool?”
“You know,” he explained to his poor old man, “they play guitar or wear cool clothes.”

What is wrong with my clothes?  These jeans were totally in style when … wait, did I just say were in style?
I was not going to give up so easily. My 3-year-old was playing some computer game and the other two were rocking ever so gently with the beat. I decided to join them. Coolness oozes out of my dance moves.
Apparently not.  My 6-year-old looked at me and yelled out: “Hey look, he is dancing!”
At this point all three of them, the three most important people in my life, turned around in unity and broke out laughing. Together.

I did what any smart father would do: I played along.

“See, I can do funny things. I am cool”.
“Oh ha ha ha”, the 8-year-old clarified. “You’re silly, you’re not cool”.
In desperation I even asked my 3-year-old.
“Spiderman is cool,” he replied factually.

Even my politician-in-making 3-year-old wouldn’t fake it for me.

And to think I gave up my suspenders (yes, I still have a few) and my habit of tucking my sweaters in my jeans for these kids! All in vain! I actually had no idea. I honestly thought these kids considered me a really cool dad.
I was happier when I did not know.
Are you crying a little inside for me?

Zeeshan Hamid is a married father of three, community activist, Milton council candidate for ward 8 and author of Why My Hair Dont Grow No More.